Tired of the Guilt Games and Shame Spirals? Here’s a Better Way to Lose Weight
Sometimes, the biggest breakthroughs come from the simplest realizations. In a recent session with a client, we were reflecting on what’s been working well for her and what still felt like a struggle. And in that conversation, something clicked—we uncovered that the two biggest strategies leading to her success were both rooted in self-trust.
Keeping Appointments
The first was seeing her workouts as an appointment with herself. She told me how, in the past, she would drop everything at a moment’s notice if a friend or family member needed her. But when it came to her own commitments—like exercising—she would cancel on herself without a second thought. Once she started treating her workouts like a non-negotiable appointment, just like she would for someone she cared about, everything shifted. She started showing up consistently, not just for the exercise itself, but for the feeling of keeping her own promises.
The second was breaking her habit of late-night snacking. We talked about how she often indulged in treats at night, thinking it was a little act of self-care—until morning rolled around, and she woke up feeling groggy and bloated. The turning point? Recognizing that she was sabotaging her “morning self” for the sake of a few minutes of enjoyment at night. By reframing her actions as a way to take care of herself for the next day, she naturally started making choices that made her feel good long-term, rather than chasing momentary satisfaction.
The “A-HA!” Moment
And then came the biggest a-ha moment of all. When I pointed out that both of these strategies made her feel good about the changes she was making, the lightbulb went off. She wasn’t forcing herself into rigid discipline or relying on guilt and shame—she was making changes that felt empowering and rewarding. And that’s when I shared one of my favorite quotes from BJ Fogg: “We change best by feeling good, not by feeling bad.”
As women, we’ve spent decades believing that beating ourselves up—shaming, criticizing, depriving, and punishing—was the only way to finally lose weight, get healthy, or change our behaviors. But has that ever actually worked long-term? Not really. And when my client could see her own success unfolding in a way that felt good, she realized just how powerful this shift in mindset truly was.
This is exactly why month three of my 4-month 1:1 coaching program is entirely focused on changing the mental aspect of health. Because lasting change doesn’t come from a place of guilt—it comes from building self-trust, making choices that feel good, and shifting how you see yourself in the process. If you’re tired of trying to force change through willpower and punishment, let’s do it differently this time.
If this approach resonates with you and you’re ready to build confidence, self-trust, and lasting results, let’s chat. Book a free call with me here and let’s see how we can work together to make real, lasting changes in your health.
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